new Alli Treatment Effects

I've been hearing a lot this last week about the over the counter debut of "Alli", the newest FDA-approved weight loss aid. In case you haven't heard, this is a fat-binder similar to Orlistat that keeps fat from being absorbed through the colon. Sounds simple enough, right? Well, the really interesting part is the side effects, or as they so delicately call it, "treatment effects". Here are some actual excerpts from the official website. It starts off w/the short list:

"You may get:

• gas with oily spotting
• loose stools
• more frequent stools that may be hard to control..."

Okay, that's funny but doesn't sound terrible. Keep reading down the page though, & it gets better:
"...pick a day to begin taking alli, such as a weekend day so you can stay close to home if you experience a treatment effect. Make the timing work for you. If you're getting ready to travel or attend a social event, hold off on starting with alli until the event is over."

So in other words, be scared to leave the house until you see how it affects you, right? Is this like not operating heavy machinery? But there's more:

"You may not usually get gassy, but it's a possibility when you take alli. The bathroom is really the best place to go when that happens"

Okay, i'm starting to worry now. Passing gas is apparently so volatile that it requires retreating to the bathroom first. Should we stay away from midgets & small children too? But this is the best one of all:

"You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work."

At this point I absolutely start HOWLING with laughter. Did that say you should wear dark pants? Carry a change of clothes? You mean in case you crap your pants? Okay, I get it now. Treatment effects means "you may crap your pants several times a day." That's the first medication i've ever seen carry THAT warning. Probably the way this drug works is by making people AFRAID to eat anything fattening. All I have to say is, there's gotta be a better way to lose weight! And how is this walking around in dark-colored pants with an adult diaper & change of clothes in mortal fear of soiling oneself easier than just cutting back on the french fries?

I'm going to be laughing about this for a week! :)

How Funny...

Something funny happened at the Petco the other day. They had these adorable little Diamond Doves, doves that look like a smaller version of the mourning doves that come to the bird feeder all the time. I love watching the mourning doves because they're so friendly, and because of the relaxing cooing sound they make. These were snuggled close together like lovebirds. We didn't have any feathered members in our menagerie of pets yet. Wouldn't it be fun to have a pair in the house?

As I was standing there thinking how sweet & cute they looked, one of them jumped on top of the other & started humping it furiously. Yikes! It was like watching a wild monkey on Viagra. It was too x-rated to watch, I had to leave & give them some privacy. Uhhhh, maybe we don't need any more pets after all!

=:>

Milwaukee Zoo Stingray Reef

Okay, I think i've found my dream job! I want to be a sting ray in the Sting Ray Reef at the Milwaukee Zoo. Get to spend all day swimming in a warm tide pool; let people pet me, adore me and squeal with delight over my every move; then, get hand-fed crab and shrimp three times a day. Do an occasional belly flop & splash on some delighted people, or flick my wingtips above the waterline just for fun. What a life!

This afternoon I spent at the Milwaukee Zoo. It's been a dream of mine to visit Stingray City in Grand Cayman ever since I heard about it. I'm not sure when i'll make it there, so when I saw the stingray exhibit advertised here I knew I had to go. Seeing them in the touch tank was not quite as exciting as getting to swim with them, but damn near close! It is so entertaining watching them glide and chase each other all around the pool. They really are amazingly graceful swimmers, like angels underwater. I got to pet them many, many times--they feel soft and slippery, like a fish's belly. Their tails feel like long stiff cords. These were smaller, like dinner plate to snow shovel size, but in the wild they can get up to 300 lbs and 7 feet across. Wow! If you put your hand in the water they will come up & suck on it looking for food. Apparently you can actually get stingray "hickeys" from this. Sorry for the poor picture quality, all I had this week was my camera phone. I think my new goal is to win the Powerball lottery so I can have my own personal stingray park. I wished the kids were there to see it, I know they would have gone nuts--but, on the other hand, I know Bradley would have tried to sneak one home with us, & all the way home would be begging for one of his own.

Anyways, I bid farewell today to Milwaukee & am back home in OKC. It has been a fun week here, & on top of what i've already written about I enjoyed the downtown Milwaukee Riverwalk, Spice House, Public Market and Boerner Gardens (see Marsh walk below). Now, to begin the slow painful process of returning to real life. I'll leave you with this final picture from Boerner Gardens, that seems to capture the week nicely. I'm already looking forward to going again.

xoxo,
Layla

Wisconsin - Sunday

Hi again! I'm a little behind on my blogging but there's so much to tell. Sunday, despite all my best intentions to leave early I still didn't get out of the hotel until noon. However on earth do those people who race out the door at the crack of dawn on vacation manage it?

I spent the afternoon touring the Pabst Mansion in downtown Milwaukee. Yep, it's the same family as the beer. I've heard of cattle barons and robber barons, but apparently old Milwaukee had beer barons (hmm, were there chocolate or cheese barons too?). In 1890 when the average working man's annual income was $500, Frederick Pabst commissioned this mansion at a cost of $250,000. Even 100+ years later, it still feels like an ostentatious a display of wealth. They don't allow photo taking inside, but it was quite spectacular & there is a pretty good photo tour on their website. My favorite part of the house was the exquisite woodwork. I saw clamshells, oak leaves and acorns, hops and barley, delicate feathers, lions, stags and more carved throughout the house. The different rooms had different colors from stains & varieties of wood. Apparently Pabst brought some master craftsmen from Europe who wanted to come to American to do the cabinetry, woodwork, masonry etc. Kind of like the first H1-B visa program.

My volunteer tour guide was a stone-faced, steely-haired old lady who reminded me of the ruler-wielding nun from The Blues Brothers. We lined up behind her like catholic schoolchildren & didn't dare step out of line, touch anything or ask questions. The whole house, esp. the massive winding 3-story staircase, felt like the perfect set for a scary ghost movie. From the corner of my eye I couldn't help watching for something SPOOKY to happen the whole time I was there!

After the tour I headed down to Veteran's Park on the Lake Michigan lake front. It's a huge, woodsy green park that is very similar to Gasworks Park or Greenlake in Seattle. Lake Michigan is so freakin' BIG and the breeze coming in off the water is so cool that the temperature down there is about 5-10 degrees cooler, very refreshing. There's also a rather fantastic piece of architecture in the form of the Milwaukee Art Museum. I got to ride around it a few times, & what impressed me was how completely different it looks from different angles. It's like 3 or 4 different buildings. There are some interesting pics of it on Wikipedia. I stopped to take a picture w/my camera phone, & it looks like vacation agrees with me. Can you tell i'm having a good time?
It was a gorgeously blue and sunny day, the kind that makes you just glad to be alive and doing what you're doing. I rented a bicycle & spent a blissful few hours riding the bike paths along the waterfront. There were sailboats going up up & down the lake, about a million seagulls, and families of Canadian geese out swimming with their goslings. Oh yes, and a Gay Pride festival! So, something for everybody. I could have stayed there all day.

The guy at the bike rental place tipped me off to Alterra, a great independent coffee house native to Milwaukee. I stumble onto the best places just by asking the locals! I love their motto, "servimos cafe fuerte aqui": we serve strong coffee here. As it should be! Anyways, it's funny, because I just went in for coffee, but it was so good I went back in for dinner, and then dessert, which of course led to another coffee apperitif. Oh well, carpe momentum! My only concern after that was getting to sleep for my software class on Monday. I love being on vacation! :)

Wisconsin - Saturday

I had the most lovely Saturday. The weather here is warm, sunny & in the 70s right now; there is nary a cloud in the sky & the landscape is technicolor green. Great weather for a drive!

So, I headed up to Cedarburg (just north of Milwaukee), one of those terminally quaint little towns known for its historical architecture, antiquing, shopping, etc. Walking the main street I saw alot of beautiful victorian "painted lady" type houses and old limestone buildings. But, my favorite part of Cedarburg was visiting the local winery, Cedar Creek Winery, for a tasting. I met up w/some other ladies there that were just a hoot, & it almost turned into ladies' night (if I stayed much longer, I might have had to take a cab home)! Mary, my "sommelier", was fascinating & did alot to help me develop my wine palate. She must have been pretty persuasive, because although i'm not a wine drinker I ended up buying THREE BOTTLES that i'm still not sure how I will get home. The Vidal and Hillside Blossoms were REALLY good. hiccupp.

Cedarburg is also known for their Covered Bridge Park. It was really interesting to walk through the inside & see how it is put together. It was built around 1890 out of huge criss-crossing wooden beams held together by 2" wood pins (no nails or bolts). The workmanship is something to see. There was also a nameless wooden footbridge there that I thought was even cooler. What is it that's so neat about bridges? I think it's something about being suspended between two places. The water rushing by feels like the past on one side & the future on the other. You're left in the middle with just the here and now. I love it!

After Cedarburg, I planned to take a scenic drive up the coast of Lake Michigan as far as Green Bay. My first stop was Port Washington, a little lakeside town that had the feeling of a New England fishing village. Getting close to Lake Michigan, you start to feel the onshore breezes, & it's very refreshing. Port Washington is mostly known for their cool art-deco style lighthouse. You can walk out to the end of the dyke & actually climb up into the lighthouse & see the keeper's quarters. By the way, did I mention that Lake Michigan is HUGE? Standing at the edge you I couldn't see the other side. With the surface chop & seagulls, it could almost fool you into thinking it's the ocean.

As I continued up the coast I passed one story-book farm after another. My next stop was my favorite of the day, Kohler-Andrae State Park. I had no idea, but it turns out there are some really nice sandy beaches along Lake Michigan. This park spans the beach, sand dunes covered with beach grass, coastal woodland, and cattail marshes FULL of red-winged
blackbirds. There are miles of boardwalk trails through the dunes, marsh & forest. I had a BLAST running around like a grown-up kid in a giant sand box. I sat for the longest time in the beach grass by the lakeside, scrambled through the pine trees and wild honeysuckle, and wished for the 500th time already that I had my bicycle. Next time!

While I was there I saw a bluebird, cardinals, red and gray squirrels, great bloomings of wild phlox, thistle and columbine, and a deer that I got embarassingly excited about! A local nature photographer was also there giving a wonderful slide show of his work in the evening. I didn't catch his name but he was like the Ross Hamilton of Wisconsin.

I had the good fortune to hike my final dune trail just as the sun was going down. I only had my camera phone, so the picture at bottom left doesn't capture the color very well. But, the fading sunset over the sand dunes and through the grass was a special thing to see. I left tired but happy, grateful for the sand between my toes and the prospect of a hot bath. It was one of those too-rare days when you are so happy to be where you are doing what you are doing. Wishing the same happiness for you.

Layla

Greetings from Wisconsin - Part I

Hello from the America's Dairyland and the Badger State! I'm just north of Milwaukee attending a class this week. I flew up on Friday & spent the weekend exploring. Having never been here before I can't speak with much authority about the place, but I do have a few impressions: the landscape is beautiful and green right now, with velvety grassy meadows and many lovely mature hardwood trees. They don't have the mostly brick construction that you seen in OKC or KC--instead, there is more hardwood or limestone. There seems to be an unusually large number of big, ornate churches. I was expecting the Lutherans, but turns out the Catholics also have a large presence here. Another thing that's a little eerie, I haven't seen a SINGLE WALMART in 3 days here. My southern friends know how strange that feels.

As soon as you get outside of town you see one picturesque farm after another. They almost all have huge barns, several grain silos & some even have actual corn cribs (something I thought only existed in sappy country-western music). There are alot more blonde-haired fair skinned people than i've seen anywhere else. I knew the German, Polish & Scandinavian immigrants had settled here, but didn't realize the Irish & Italian had left a big impression as well. It still seems to be a very cosmopolitan place now: walking around downtown Milwaukee I heard 20+ languages in one afternoon.

One very noticeable thing. The natives here definitely seem to have a distinct personality. It's hard to articulate but they seem very somber and unsmiling. Many of them have been talkative without being particularly friendly. Hmm, maybe that's what "salt of the earth" means. Speaking of salt, the regional food seems rather bland but tries to make up for it with extra cream and butter. Also, the drivers here are surprisingly impatient! Apparently driving the speed limit really pisses people off.

A small aside, my rental car smells like fish, & i'm still on the fence about whether it's worth returning before this Friday. It's not too bad in the cabin, but if you open the trunk after it's been sitting in the sun, it just about knocks you over. My question is, has it reached the point of maximum fishiness, & now will start to smell better? Or is it still on a plateau, or God forbid, upward curve. We'll see. Stand by for part II....