Winners Know When to Quit

Hey guys! Sorry I've been so long out of touch. The short version is, I enjoyed a blissful month off in March, and in April was happy to go back to school and work. Unfortunately, since April I've been mired in a ridiculous struggle of politics and paranoia that make Henry the VIII's court look downright happy-go-lucky. Forget posting or keeping in touch w/anyone, I was just trying to stay afloat.

The short version is this: the massage program I started with such happy excitement at Praxis College in Oklahoma City turned out to be a total flippin' disaster. I could go on for days about how weird, surreal, and cult-like the place is -- racial slurs, inappropriate sexual jokes, and crackpot theories come to mind. After the six LONGEST weeks of my life I've decided something that seemed inconceivable just a couple months ago: to cut my losses and quit this school. I'm out a couple thousand dollars, more in time and aggravation, and some of my trusting good nature. I could give a cliche story about how it was a useful learning experience, etc etc, but that's not what I want to share.

This experience reminded me of one of the most useful lessons of my life: we need to free ourselves of the cultural notion that it's wrong to quit. Most of us had this idea pounded into us so deeply that we never questioned it. Even 20 years later I still hear my high school coach barking in my ear: "Winners never quit! Quitters never win!" Basically, once you start something keep doing what you're doing. If it doesn't work, then do it harder.

The fundamental flaw with this is, what if what you're doing is wrong? What if it doesn't make sense, isn't working, or is just plain stupid? What if even starting the task itself was a mistake? Should we then feel obligated to keep doing it because we don't want to be quitters? Wouldn't it make more sense to admit it when a job sucks the life out of you, you can't afford the mortgage, or a relationship isn't meant to be? I see a lot of people who could save themselves a lot of time and grief by being honest with themselves and doing just that. Sometimes, quitting is the smartest thing you can do.

I know from my own life some of the smartest moves I've ever made were listening to my gut early on saying get me out of here. On the other hand, some of my most painful experiences have come from staying in situations I never should have been in, then having to extricate myself after three or five years, when I had massively more invested. Of course I'm not saying quit anything that's hard--real judgment is in knowing when to persevere, and when to cut your losses and move on. I'm saying let's do ourselves all a favor, and start telling ourselves and each other a better catchphrase: Winners know when to quit.